- Sometimes, we can't have the words.
- But what will we have then?
- Then we will have music.
- But what of silence?
- In silence, we will have color.
- But what of the dark?
- In the dark, we will have touch.
- But what of the distance?
- In the distance, there will be weather.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Efficiency, Efficiency or: You Will Know Me By The Clementine Juice On My Face
It would be a more efficient world if I did not have to wipe clementine juice off my chin and my fingers, if there were a robot that could do that for me, you know? It would be a more efficient world if I did not wear white dresses and get clementine juice stains all over my clothes.
It would be a more efficient world if Los Angeles crunched itself together. It would be a more efficient world if Paris stacked itself up. It would be a more efficient world if all coasts connected, or if we only settled one side of any river.
It would be a more efficient world if I could teleport, or at least take a super high-speed tram.
It would be a more efficient world if laundry did itself, and you never had to shake out the wrinkles from sheets left too long in the dryer. It would be a more efficient world if the lint would clean itself out from the machine. How have we not figured this out yet?
It would be a more efficient world if children made finger paintings on screens instead of on paper.
It would be a more efficient world if concerts had no opening acts.
It would be a more efficient world if there was a machine where you could enter a specific height and body type and age range and income level and set of interests and then the machine would give you a list of people who met those requirements. It would be a more efficient world if you could meet one of them that night.
It would be a more efficient world if there were no bathtubs, or watches that need to be wound. It would be a more efficient world if you would just check my GCal, okay?
It would be a more efficient world if I didn't have to speak to the barista, didn't have to wait in line. It would be a more efficient world if I could just order my drink ahead of time.
It would be a more efficient world if everyone were on pills and no one ever danced.
It would be a more efficient world if strangers did not speak to me when I have my headphones in. It would be a more efficient world if we all just let each other alone. It would be a more efficient world if life was a slideshow of faces and you could click yes for the ones you liked and no for the ones you didn't.
It would be a more efficient world if there were an app for that.
It would be a more efficient world if all flowers were perennials, needed planting only once and required nothing more.
It would be a more efficient world if we all spoke the same language, if we all spoke 0s and 1s.
It would be a more efficient world if we did not allow children to play with bowls of flour on the kitchen counter.
It would be a more efficient world if we just storebought the damn cake.
Fuck efficient. Fuck fast, fuck easy: Give me the blue and yellow paints spilt onto the white carpet, give me bathwater gone cold and toes gone wrinkled, give me the watch that says it's 4o'clock all day long. Give me the wrong drink and the wrong turn and the mistranslated homonym and let me drop all the sheets and towels out of the laundry bin and onto the bed, let me lay there in the wrinkles and shrunken sizes and faint pink tinge from the wrong wash setting. Let me waste the afternoon.
Give me what I didn't order, give me boxes I didn't check. Let me cut through the double-layer red velvet and pull out a gooey knife.
Give me your mess.
I want you, eventually. I want you, inefficiently. I want you and all your mess and all the mess of you to come. I want to give you the mess of me and I want us to make a whole mess of it all, all of it ours. I want it to happen when it happens. I want it to take as long as it takes.
I do not want the shortcut through my fast and only life.
Let citrus stick in the dips between my fingers. Let me turn over stones with nothing beneath them to be found. Let me lick a bead of sweat off the wrong boy's neck. Let me take the long way, the wrong way home.
It would be a more efficient world if Los Angeles crunched itself together. It would be a more efficient world if Paris stacked itself up. It would be a more efficient world if all coasts connected, or if we only settled one side of any river.
It would be a more efficient world if I could teleport, or at least take a super high-speed tram.
It would be a more efficient world if laundry did itself, and you never had to shake out the wrinkles from sheets left too long in the dryer. It would be a more efficient world if the lint would clean itself out from the machine. How have we not figured this out yet?
It would be a more efficient world if children made finger paintings on screens instead of on paper.
It would be a more efficient world if there was a machine where you could enter a specific height and body type and age range and income level and set of interests and then the machine would give you a list of people who met those requirements. It would be a more efficient world if you could meet one of them that night.
It would be a more efficient world if there were no bathtubs, or watches that need to be wound. It would be a more efficient world if you would just check my GCal, okay?
It would be a more efficient world if everyone were on pills and no one ever danced.
It would be a more efficient world if strangers did not speak to me when I have my headphones in. It would be a more efficient world if we all just let each other alone. It would be a more efficient world if life was a slideshow of faces and you could click yes for the ones you liked and no for the ones you didn't.
It would be a more efficient world if there were an app for that.
It would be a more efficient world if all flowers were perennials, needed planting only once and required nothing more.
It would be a more efficient world if we all spoke the same language, if we all spoke 0s and 1s.
Fuck efficient. Fuck fast, fuck easy: Give me the blue and yellow paints spilt onto the white carpet, give me bathwater gone cold and toes gone wrinkled, give me the watch that says it's 4o'clock all day long. Give me the wrong drink and the wrong turn and the mistranslated homonym and let me drop all the sheets and towels out of the laundry bin and onto the bed, let me lay there in the wrinkles and shrunken sizes and faint pink tinge from the wrong wash setting. Let me waste the afternoon.
Give me what I didn't order, give me boxes I didn't check. Let me cut through the double-layer red velvet and pull out a gooey knife.
Give me your mess.
I want you, eventually. I want you, inefficiently. I want you and all your mess and all the mess of you to come. I want to give you the mess of me and I want us to make a whole mess of it all, all of it ours. I want it to happen when it happens. I want it to take as long as it takes.
I do not want the shortcut through my fast and only life.
Let citrus stick in the dips between my fingers. Let me turn over stones with nothing beneath them to be found. Let me lick a bead of sweat off the wrong boy's neck. Let me take the long way, the wrong way home.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Some things I have learned
- The fewer clothes you pack, the more books you can bring home.
- Your integrity is measured as much by the promises you keep with yourself as by those you keep for others.
- There is nothing on this earth more banal than calories.
- From men, seek neither affirmation nor adoration. Seek respect.
- Mail every letter the day you seal it.
- The difference between a child and an adult is recognizing that other people are real. Other people feel, other people hurt, other people want, and other people do not stop existing when you walk away or hang up.
- You have to be your own home, no matter how home-like someone else feels.
- Keep a journal. It holds you accountable for doing exactly what you want.
- To be in love is a state, and out of your control. To love is an action, and a decision you make and renew. A working definition for love: actively trying to understand and care for another person, as they change, as you change, constantly, always.
- Your friends are your life partners. Treasure them, nurture them. Strong friendship is the true "'til death do us part", no matter what the scripts say.
- If you're talking about it a lot, there's probably something wrong. Contentedness is a quiet tune you hum in your head.
- Curiosity has a longer shelf-life than lust.
- You are not who you think you could or should be; you are what you do.
- To change the narrative frame is to change everything.
- If a man looks at you with a certain glimmer in his eyes and say, "Let's just go to Paris": smile, dip your chin. Say nothing until the ticket is in your hand.
- Your integrity is measured as much by the promises you keep with yourself as by those you keep for others.
- There is nothing on this earth more banal than calories.
- From men, seek neither affirmation nor adoration. Seek respect.
- Mail every letter the day you seal it.
- The difference between a child and an adult is recognizing that other people are real. Other people feel, other people hurt, other people want, and other people do not stop existing when you walk away or hang up.
- You have to be your own home, no matter how home-like someone else feels.
- Keep a journal. It holds you accountable for doing exactly what you want.
- To be in love is a state, and out of your control. To love is an action, and a decision you make and renew. A working definition for love: actively trying to understand and care for another person, as they change, as you change, constantly, always.
- Your friends are your life partners. Treasure them, nurture them. Strong friendship is the true "'til death do us part", no matter what the scripts say.
- If you're talking about it a lot, there's probably something wrong. Contentedness is a quiet tune you hum in your head.
- Curiosity has a longer shelf-life than lust.
- You are not who you think you could or should be; you are what you do.
- To change the narrative frame is to change everything.
- If a man looks at you with a certain glimmer in his eyes and say, "Let's just go to Paris": smile, dip your chin. Say nothing until the ticket is in your hand.
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